On Facebook I've been posting some very personal feeling that are sweeping in as I approach retirement from my 7 year messenger service, reception job. Just thought I'd make them a little more public posting them here.
"Now the average man, looking at himself ... Doesn't feel there is anything much wrong with him. But some men develop a curious inner dissatisfaction ..." - Colin Wilson
Colin Wilson describes the robot as the part of the mind that handles our habitual activities... We use less and less of our consciousness, and live more and more out of routine.
The question becomes 'How do we wake ourself from the robot, mechanical living to full consciousness?
.. man shall not live by one metaphor alone. In fact, one author, says we use "one metaphor for every 10 to 25 words, or about six metaphors a minute." The metaphor in the forefront of my life today is how habitual living gradually takes over my consciousness leaving me "asleep". As Colin Wilson describes, "If I am preoccupied, he eats my dinner for me. He may even make love to my wife. I miss a great deal of interesting and fresh experience because I have become too dependent on the robot."
... is it inevitable that in becoming who I am to become, the now me, that so many have to be affected negatively? I am happy with who I have become after two divorces and a bout in a fundamentalist church. But so much "collateral damage". Could I have become me, without it? I'm sorry!
.. as I prepare to leave my reception job, and all I tried to bring to it, things will go on as if I had never been there at all. I will have never left any lasting legacy. Is that how the end of my life will feel?